The end of times!

I met my new grandma-in-law today. She’s a very nice lady. She gave me cake! I like cake.

She gave me a hug and her ears whistled. She smelled like old people. She forgot my name a few times.

She also whipped out a Bible because ‘things are changing’ (God’s got a horrible editor it seems) and told me that the end of times were coming, but it was still nice I’m getting married to her grandson.

Religious people scare me.

It’s a chocolate cake!

Today, on America’s Birthday, I am not proud to be one.

Here I am, my first wedding vacation! I’m a ways away from my normal routine which is messing me up a bit so it took me an extra day to hear about the Hobby Lobby ruling and let’s be glad I’m miles away from the nearest one since, I’m now out of work with nothing to do but be a nasty, nasty bitch.

sassyobama

By the way, totally fucking real: Here’s the tweet.

So, here comes the defensive:

“IT’S NOT ALL BIRTH CONTROL, IT’S JUST PLAN B AND IUD’S” Yes. And? If me and my soon to be husband got pregnant right this second, on accident, perhaps I fucked up my pills or we were just that .1% that it happens to, we’d be in a bad spot. I make little money, he makes none, I live in my moms house. Granted, I have a support system out the ass so it wouldn’t be horrible but what about the women who don’t? The ones who are doing the right thing and protecting themselves can also have accidents happen. If they believe it’s alright to do so, it’s none of anyone else s business to deny them that right.

Fun fact. This is my body and I can abuse it any way I see fit. I can fill it with cake and poutine (which, may happen, that shit is fucking delicious…) and become 400lbs. It’s unhealthy, but it’s also my body. I can smoke a rainbow of legal and less than legal substances that cause cancer and other horrible diseases, but again, it’s my body. If I believe that flushing out a parasitic egg from my body that isn’t human to me is alright, I should be able to. My employer should have no say in what I spend my worked merits for.

Also, IUDs are some of the best non-hormonal treatment out there. Bodies are complex. An IUD works for some women better than the pill does. Instead, we’ve got a bunch of white, old, catholic dudes going “EHHHH ITS ABORTION. NO PROTECTION FOR YOU. Deal, ya slut.”

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks.

“Well, if you don’t like it, don’t work at Hobby Lobby/a ‘closely held organization’”

One – Over 50% of all employers and 40% of employees are ‘closely held’.

Two – Why does it matter if my boss is catholic. I’m a devout pastafarian. He employs me to do a job, I do said job. I deserve either more money or proper coverage from my health care.

Three – With a staggering high unemployment rate…

For some of us, simply finding a place that’s hiring is painful. People need to eat, have a place to live, in today’s ‘murika, we can’t be picky. It’s work or starve and that’s a sad, pathetic, fact. Congratulations, Supreme Court of the US, you have officially held every woman hostage. Work to live AND be treated like a lesser person OR quit your job because you deserve treatment like everyone else, but die of exposure/starvation.

Finally, the president it’s setting. How long until a Jehovah’s employer denies the practice of blood transfusions because they don’t believe in it. How long until a extreme Muslim employer denies employment to women? How long until LBGT members are denied employment because it’s offending someone?

How long until the FSM jumps out of the internet and choke holds everyone for being so fucking stupid?

We are a country of hundreds of unique people. Everyone has feelings, beliefs, things they hold true. We should be respectful of everyone’s personal choices. Legislation should be passed that gives everyone safe and legal options to live their lives as they see fit. No person, no corporation, no being should infringe on my right to these things. We all believe in different things. My god is a sentient plate of pasta. I am free to believe in him as you, dear reader (and or fuckwit), are free to believe in a God, Shiva, Buddha, a funky fish that eats other fish, a science-fiction writer, or nothing. Simply do not impose your feelings on me like a respectful human being.

FUN FACT, JESUS WOULD PROLLY BE PRETTY FUCKING UPSET RIGHT NOW TOO, HOBBY LOBBY.

In short, I am not proud of my country today. We should be in uproar. My body, my choice. Not my employers. Offer me 100% care, or take a long walk off a short pier, hopefully into some lava.

Ra’men.

True to myself.

This past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. Wow.

First, I was invited to dinner with my boss and co-workers. Now, initially I had the entire mentality of ‘WOOHOO FREE FOOD’ bubbling in the back of my mind, but then as I thought about it, the less I wanted to go.

I don’t like these people. I work with them. I smile and kinda tolerate them. What the hell would I talk about? In all honesty, I’d sit there in a corner, sip some booze, and be nothing but a wall-flower.

Saeran and Laurel would dance in my mind.

I do not like these people. I tolerate them. I have no ass-kissing to do here, nobody to impress, because these people are boring.

So I decided not to go.

I would have a much, much, MUCH better time, buying my own dinner, bringing up whatever game of choice, and enjoying myself.

Of course, something else dropped on my head like a ton of bricks and all of a sudden, I needed to rush out an assignment I thought I had til September to put together. So, Saturday I had one of the most important reviews of my careers and I passed it with flying, star studded colors. ’cause I’m good at what I do. Meilin, baby teacher extraordinaire.

Mom and I went out to celebrate and all of a sudden she’s throwing me a bachelorette party, which, again, turned into a weird ‘well, who would you like to invite?’ before she invited every single person that’s ever met me since I came into this world. Honestly, my own guest list is close to one, MAYBE two people. (and I swear to sweet baby jesus if one of these people tries to mess up my party there will be the most nasty, hateful things coming out of my mouth. I’m sorry in advance if it happens.)

True to myself. I don’t want to hide it. All my co-workers are in a tizzy that I’m wearing a purple dress to my wedding. So? It’s my goddamned wedding. It’s also pirate themed.

I don’t want to go to dinner because I don’t care. It would have been a massive waste of my time listening to you drivel on about your crotch fruit, your divorce, and so on. I went home and played with my new XIV house.

Why be anyone but myself? Oddly enough, this is the person people like. So what if I miss work-dinners? I’m an introvert. I like being with my books, my games, my posters, my bunny, my bed (and soon, my husband!).

I didn’t lose my way. It just got easier to follow.

Well, it’s a start!

I’m sick as fuck but I did the big girl thing and started the process to consolidate my student loans.

Income based repayment puts me at a grand total of $0 a month too. Which means I’m not going to have a ton of people calling me and I get to pretend these things don’t exist.

I really don’t plan on paying them off.

Goodnight, world!

I should be a horrible person for this.

I’m watching someone self destruct. Literally shoving people out of their life, self destruct.

…and I don’t think I care.

I watched you destroy yourself. I watched you literally change your entire being to ‘fit in’. Now, I think you’re reaping the rewards of your actions, old friend.

Because nobody is listening to your tantruming anymore.

Thank you, no really, thank you.

Today was the day I was going on a field trip with my munchkins. I was pretty excited, mostly because a lot of my teaching-babies beliefs focus on lots and lots of playtime. I never get to take my kids out to play so two whole hours at a playground was just my idea of a perfect day.

It was overcast, it spittled rain for a while, but, we were going.

Until I found out I was on bathroom duty. Because we can’t take kids to the bathroom when they need to go, we need to put someone there.

I literally stood under a tree near a bathroom for two hours. I couldn’t see my kids at all. I missed out on bubbles and balls and swings and slides, running and jumping and playing and everything.

I am so fucking pissed it’s unbelievable.

No, I’m not pissed, I’m pretty gutted. I was looking forward to this day, instead, I got to do nothing. I’m even losing pay since we all left work two hours early. I’m heartbroken. I do this job because I love doing the best for these kids. The best for them was not playing molester guard. Outside of the few kids that came to go pee, nobody else used the bathroom except one of the chaperones.

I’m getting email after email from every boss I have about how wonderful the day was and how fantastic it all went and you know what? I didn’t get a single fucking second of it. I took three kids to the bathroom. I was alone.

So thanks, thanks so much. I don’t feel very much part of the ‘amazing team’ you seem to be bragging about right now.

If I didn’t have a fiance I desperately want to live in the states with me I would have pretty much handed in my two weeks via email.

I am writing a letter so venomous to the district we belong to, you’ll be reeling from it all summer. Why? Because you’re doing no favors to these kids. I have no desire to play nice with you anymore. My professor may have started it, but I’m going to continue.

I’m going to shower.

三年前

Three years ago, during the Steam sale, I was playing Isaac on a train to my first trip to Canada.

In a few weeks, during the Steam sale, I’ll have to play Isaac to get married in Canada.

Little things.

Also, I’m under 10 million for my Final Fantasy XIV house. I will have this thing soon.

An Ode to my Bicycle, part the second.

Fuck you you fucking piece of fuck.

I’ve ridden you in the rain. It’s getting warm and I get to work so drenched in sweat I might as well just jump in a sprinkler on that last turn before work.

My thighs hurt like hell.

I hate everything and everyone. I hate the assholes who honk at me like I can move any closer to the curb. I hate the idiots that I wave past me cause I’M ON A GODDAMED BIKE YOU MORON, MAKE YOUR TURN. I like the bus driver who waves at me and keeps the STOP sign up a little longer so I can get around the bus easier. I hate everyone at work who comments on how ‘strong’ I am, how ‘dedicated’ I’m being.

No, fuck everyone and everything.

I hate this contraption.

MY THIGHS.

At least in 25 more days, I get to hope I can get my fiancee/husband to run with me or else I’ll get lost in the Canadian wilds and get eaten by a moose.

Fucking joy.

I cannot wait to cut you in half, you piece of shit.

MY THIGHS WILL DANCE IN GLEE.